Burrcoin

(audio sketch)

Int. office- day.

Matt, Shelley, Tate, Winston, and Paulene are sitting in an auditorium with colleagues. Tate is presenting.

TATE
My fellow colleagues, we have been trying to enter the crypto market for quite some time now, and today I present to you an idea I’ve been working on for a new cryptocurrency fit to compete with the likes of Bitcoin, Etherium, and yes, even Dogecoin. It’s called…Burrcoin.

Colleagues oooh and aah.

PAULENE
Excellent, Tate. This is exactly the kind of thing that’s gonna take our company to the next level. Walk us through the concept.

TATE
Certainly. Now, the central feature of Burrcoin is its unique and egalitarian mining process. Mining blockchain cryptocurrencies such as Bitcoin requires a significant amount of time, resources, and programming skills. This excludes the average Joe from using the currency. But with Burrcoin, anyone in the world can participate in the mining process, as long as they have access to a cow.

MATT
Wait…a cow?

TATE
Oooh, I see Matt’s getting excited. Yes, a cow. Burrcoin’s patented mining process called “Burrsplunking” is really quite simple. All a person needs to do is…